If you were to stand back and observe your life in a scientific way, you would start to see a particular pattern of behaviours and thought processes that are unique to you.
Our patterns help us make sense of the world. They govern how we view ourselves, situations we’re in, how we interact with the people around us and how we stay positive.
In the simplest of forms: we will be pro something or against it, depending on how we view it. How we feel, what we think, and the way we behave, are all governed by our past experiences, and the perceptions we’ve created.
Our patterns of behaviour will even invite other people to interact with us in a particular way – depending on their attitude too.
Getting to know yourself and how you operate in the world can start with understanding the kind of attitudes you operate from and the beliefs you hold. This will shape your inner world and be reflected in your outer world.
Take self-love for example, it relies on a positive or accepting attitude towards self and has a ripple affect on others. You might hold beliefs like:
- I can survive from setbacks and learn from them
- I am worthy of love
- I am kind
- I am generous
- I am safe
- I am enough
- I am perfectly imperfect
When you operate with a positive and accepting attitude, you are pro self-love and respect, and you will in turn respond to others in this way.
When we hold limiting beliefs i.e., ‘I’m only loveable if others approve of me’ our behaviour becomes over accommodating, we try too hard to please and we start putting the needs of others before our own.
This is exactly the opposite of what we ought to be doing.
To help you get a clearer picture of your overall attitude to life, and why you might be responding to situations in a certain way, have a closer look at these 5 key areas.
Watch your behaviour and how you respond to situations.
Do you notice others push in front of you in the coffee shop to be served first and you don’t say anything? Do you laugh at jokes you don’t find funny or are insulting because everyone else is? Do you notice bad things only happen to you? Are you always complaining about the service, the quality of product and generally find things aren’t good enough?
Listen to your self-talk.
What are you telling yourself? Do you think you should be thinner / have a better-paying job / be great in bed / have lots of friends [insert your own flavour of ‘should’ here]. When you make a mistake do you feel like a failure? Do you feel bad when you have to say ‘no’ to someone?
Observe your body language.
Do you stand up straight or slouch? Do you roll your eyes when you disagree with someone? Do you fidget when you’re nervous?
Check your emotions.
When someone says something derogatory to you, are you overcome with shame? Do you give more than you take until you’re exhausted? Do you bite your tongue until you explode in anger?
Notice what you focus on.
Are you constantly checking to see if people have responded to your status update or tweet? Are you always pinching your fat when you get out of the shower? Do you follow people on Instagram whose life you envy?
Once you start to notice how you’re feeling, what you’re thinking, and how you’re behaving in certain situations, you’ll start to see a pattern emerge. You might see that you view the world as ‘glass half empty’ or you see the world as ‘unsafe’.
However you are responding to life, the thing to remember is, you have a choice. You can choose to continue to respond in a way that gets you less than desirable results, or you can choose a different attitude and start seeing vast improvements in your life.
What will you choose to change today?