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For most married people, their spouse forms the foundation of their emotional support. So when couples face conflict in their relationships, it’s not uncommon for their entire lives to feel unbalanced.
For those who find themselves in this situation, it can be difficult to reach out for help. Confronting a problem head-on takes courage, especially when you doubt whether your partner will have your back. You might even wonder “Can counselling help us save our relationship?”
Whole Heart Relationship has long provided marriage counselling to couples in the Greater Sydney Area. We’ve had many couples come to us in desperation and leaving, eventually, with harmony and joy back in their relationships. Not all cases end like this, of course, but most do—more than you’d think.
One major factor in the effectiveness of marriage counselling is how quickly a couple responds to the troubles in their relationship. Remember, counselling and therapy aren’t only for those whose relationships are falling apart. In fact, couples who address their concerns before it reaches that point will more easily resolve it. At the same time, however, neither should you think a problem is beyond fixing. As long as you and your partner are committed to mending your marriage’s wounds, there’s always hope.
How We Approach Marriage Counselling
Marriage counselling depends ultimately on a couples’ effort to to mend and nurture their relationship. However, all sorts of obstacles can get in the way of that. Feelings of hurt, fear, and frustration can make it difficult to address the root of the problem and come to a meaningful resolution.
In our counselling programs, we provide couples with a safe, conducive space in which they can discuss their concerns and voice their wants and needs. We provide them guidance throughout this process based on our experience and studies. This way, couples are empowered to find the solutions that work for them in the long run.
We see counselling not just as a way to patch up old wounds, but to arrive at more fulfilling and supportive relationships. We take hurtful and hostile patterns and replace them with habits that deepen and reinforce each couple’s connections.
Marriage Counselling and Couples Therapy
Couple counselling focuses on the emotional and psychological bonds between partners (as opposed to sex therapy, which involves physical bonds; and family counselling, which involves children).
The main objective of couple counselling is to resolve persistent or recurring problems between partners and restore their intimacy. These include:
- Communication issues, like feeling ignored or unable to understand or be understood by their partner
- Emotional problems, such as intense anger or fear, especially in situations of conflict
- General patterns of conflict that occur repeatedly despite attempts to resolve them
A couple counsellor or therapist helps by providing a framework with which the couple can examine their problems and issues. The therapist listens to both sides, helping them process their thoughts and emotions both on their own and as a pair. In this way, they can gain a better understanding of where they stand with each other.
In my work as a therapist, I also draw upon further insight and perspective gained through education, training, and experience with other couples going through similar problems. These cases help me provide both conceptual and practical advice to help each couple manage their problems until they can resolve them altogether.
Why Couples Seek Counselling
There are a number of reasons couples might seek counselling. These are some common ones:
- Frequent, repeated, or unresolvable arguments
- Difficulties with sexual intimacy
- Affairs or other romantic infidelities
- Lack of trust or jealousy
- Difficulties in communication
- Unfulfilled emotional needs or persistent negative feelings
- Conflicts about children or family members
- Conflicts about financial or career matters
- Addictions or other disruptive behaviours
Beyond these, couples might consult for a variety of other problems. Underlying these, however, a generally a few root causes: people search for validation, stability, or identity.
Because marriage requires people to adapt to another, they sometimes feel these things to be slipping away. This is especially true during times of major transition. Many couples who seek counselling do so during major upheavals in their lives, such as having kids (or having kids move out), switching or ending careers, or moving to a new home.
These external influences and internal problems can come together in unexpected ways, leaving couples feeling estranged not just from their partners, but from themselves.
Counselling and therapy can help couple’s uncover and address these root problems, helping the couple in restoring the peace they’d lost.
A disconnect in sexual inclinations or activities causes rifts within many couples. Sexual intimacy and physical contact are a major part of how couples interact and communicate, so usually these problems are connected to other relationship troubles.
Problems in a couple’s sex life may reveal or cause other forms of stress, changes or difficulties in expressing affection, or other anxieties.
While sexual issues are sometimes contingent on other problems—and therefore resolve themselves when the root causes are addressed—sometimes, sexual problems can muddle an otherwise committed and loving relationship. In these cases, sex therapy can help by addressing specifically sexual issues, which may be acting as an obstacle in otherwise good relationships.
Choosing a Counselor
The success of marriage counselling depends both on the expertise of the therapist as well as the active involvement of the couple. Thus, while it’s good to look for the best therapists, they should also be readily accessible from where you live. In this case, it’s a good idea to look closer to home.
Whole Heart Relationship understands the importance of these two factors. As such, we strive to bring international standards of expertise to the Greater Sydney Area and beyond.
Our therapist has trained extensively in this area of expertise. This isn’t just about understanding the science and sociology behind it, but in understanding couples and their connections. We know you’re looking to bring peace back into your homes, so rest assured that our specialist will spare no effort to make you feel at home through your sessions.
It’s never too early or too late to work on your relationship. Get in touch with us for a consultation or appointment.