The two most cited reasons couples come to see me are:
- “He shuts down and never wants to talk” and
- “We’re not having sex any more”
What’s funny is that these statements are basically the same thing – just seen from different points of view! Not surprisingly, men and women both feel lonely in a relationship when there’s a lack of intimacy – the just feel it in different ways. Men view intimacy as fewer arguments and (a LOT) more sex. Women view intimacy through a lens of emotional connection and trust.
I’ve written before about the importance of trust in a relationship and how, without it, we cannot hope to build a strong emotional connection. We all need to feel like our partner is interested in what we have to say. Feeling ‘seen’ and ‘heard’ in our relationships helps us feel safe and free to express ourselves as we truly are.
That doesn’t mean we have to agree with everything our partner says – or vice versa – but showing that we are listening, and that we ‘get it’ even if we don’t agree with it, will help strengthen the emotional connection. When there’s trust and connection within a relationship we’re less likely to get cranky with one another, and more motivated to deal with any conflict that arises and move on quickly to the fun stuff.
But it’s not always easy. Emotional connection takes effort and practice.
Go that extra mile, take the extra time, ask how your partner is really feeling about something, show you’re interested in them, let them know you love them, and tell them you’ll always be there for them – no matter what.
Do it with your partner, your bestie, your customers, and even your pets – practice connecting as often as you can!
There are literally a million little things you can do every day to build and strengthen connection, and the effort you put in will be returned to you tenfold.
Each day we’re presented with countless opportunities to repair any ruptures, restore the connection and heal our relationships – we just have to know how.
Do you like the idea of strengthening the connection with your partner, but just need a little inspiration to get you started? Why not give my intimacy Bootcamp a go! Head this way to learn more >>